The Dooms Day Game

NOTE: Trying to fight the beast when your depression level is too high will be discouraging and most likely, ineffective unless you have group support or an active therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Medication is usually indicated for these levels of depression. Fighting the beast is more effective when depression is mild. If you’re in full remission, fighting the Beast helps extend periods of remission.

Many people have asked why I refer to depression as “The Beast.” Personally I find it a way to separate myself from my disorder. I am not a “depressive;” I’m a person who suffers from a depressive disorder. I would rather see my depression as an external beast rather than a part of who I am.

In order to capture the Beast in the act, we need to understand the games he plays. Referring to it as a “game” points out there are two players (you and the beast) with unconscious rules that are followed. When someone knows the rules of the game (making the unconscious—conscious), the Beast is easier to identify and defeat or at least soften his advances. I publish one game at a time.

A way of knowing you’re dealing with the Beast is to become aware of your emotions. Simply put, if you have feelings that are extreme and destructive, you’ve been listening to the Beast. Each game of the Beast will produce a particular emotion, and each game will have a common irrational flaw. Your feelings will help you discover what game he is being playing against you.


The Dooms Day Game

The Emotion:  Anxiety

The Message:  The Beast plays this game by making us feel obligated to someone, something or values held. It is an easy game to spot because you hear such words like “should/shouldn’t,” “ought,” “must,” and “have to.”

To clarify this game, it is important to remember that “should” has two different meanings in our language; there is the “should” of probability and the “should” of obligation. For instance, the “should” of probability means that if you mix two colors together you “should” get a third color.

The other "should" obligates; you should be nice to your mother, you should brush your teeth every day, you shouldn’t hurt people, etc. The sense of obligation is always at the foundation of guilt and shame. The Beast will try to trick us by including worthwhile goals, but the insertion of “should” undermines the validity worthy goals. The Beast has made it mandatory instead of a reasonable and controllable choice we make—a “should” takes away our choice.

The Flaw:  Stated simply, for an adult there are no such things as a should. This may seem to run counter to all of our moral and ethical upbringing; yet when we look at this flaw more closely, overcoming it actually enhances our own moral values.

To comprehend what I’m proposing, we need to go back to a time when we were children. Our parents taught us a lot of “should” messages. There is a good reason for this. Such messages became rules that our parents hoped would keep us alive i.e. “you should look both ways before crossing the street.” As we became older, the rules became more socially oriented and endowed us with social survival. We heard such things as, “You should say please and thank-you. . . you should be kind to people, etc.”

Now that we have become adults, we have collected thousands of should messages. These rules govern and obligate us, making life ineffective and miserable. Yet, out of habit, we continue to maintain these rules, resulting in a lack of choice and judgment. No adult is required to follow a “should.” Every adult can choose to make decisions according to consequence.

When we start making consequential decisions opposed to a should, we are required to estimate the outcome of those choices. The final step is making a choice you’re willing to accept without blame or excuse, taking full responsibility.

Again, should-messages rob us of our choices. They are obligations; something we have to do. People who are considered “people pleasers” are plagued with this game. As adults, and because life is complex, we need to make real choices according to the consequences they reap and willing to take responsibility for our choices. The Beast would rather you do everything out of obligation, leading to guilt and shame because of the impossibility of following all the rules and being all things to everyone.

When the Beast plays the Obligation Game, remember, you’re an adult who can make choices. Make your choice according to the consequences you’re willing to accept and take responsibility for it. The more you recognize the game and the more you fight against it; over time unhealthy guilt/shame will diminish. (Some think guilt is a good thing. However guilt leads to worthless feelings we often have to battle. A more appropriate feeling would be remorse, where we take responsibility of our choices, and correct any mistakes we may have made).

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